How many Prime Ministers?
Our salaries have risen by more than 22% over the past five years and we're making sure that trend continues.
Whilst you lot are seeing your pay and benefits cut, we're increasing ours. Any why not? We're important and deserve only the best.
The gravy train must go on. Of course, to justify this massive overspend of your money (which is really our money) we've had to invent some bogey men to slay.
Independent financial advisers seemed just the sort of people who wouldn't mind having a target pinned on their bums.
So, after completely missing the banking crises (all of them) we decided to increase salaries to attract the sort of people who couldn't possibly miss a banking crisis or two. Could they?
Er,... well, yes. After joining our European comrades in declaring unanimously that there was no problem with European bank liquidity it turns out there is a massive problem with European bank liquidity.
Sod it!
And we thought just paying our people more of your money would fix everything.
TOFFS
Treating Our Folk Fairly by Salary (TOFFS) is the off-sheet policy designed to spread the magic fairy dust throughout the Eurozone and its crippled (sorry, structurally challenged) banking system, making everything hunky dory again.
Speaking of drawings, have you seen how much our management awarded themselves in bonuses? £21,000,000. Twenty one million quid OF YOUR SODDING MONEY is now OUR MONEY as a REWARD FOR OUR FAILURES.
Smooth operator... watch me Jive. Man, it doesn't get any better than this. Could this be luuuuuuuuv?
That's on top of some, ahem, very generous emoluments (we like to use Dickensian language when speaking about our own pay and benefits - it sort of softens the blow somehow.)
The average senior management salary is now a whopping £250k.That would be enough to buy a house for most of you, but for us it's only the deposit!
Saint Hector's salary is now a whopping - wait for it - over £800,000. And yet everything he's touched has crumbled to dust. Everything.
Because these numbers are too large for practical use, we rank our staff now as 1 PM, 2 PM and so on. That's Prime Ministers' salaries to the unitiated. Saint Hector is a 6 PM.
Hector Sants and his banking chum, Lord (of what?) Turner are happy for tens of thousands of people to lose their livelihoods if their mad dash to RDR goes ahead. They speak of it without emotion and don't seem to understand of what they speak.
But then Turner didn't understand what happened in the banking crisis of 2007. As he is a firm believer in Global Warming (or is it Climate Change? - he doesn't know difference) we can expect pie in the sky, by and by thinking from him. He is a lefty and the left is dangerous for British business.
They both should be ashamed of themselves. Totally ashamed.
Their behaviour has no place in a democracy. None whatsoever.
What failures.
What shame they bring to financial services in the UK.
Guidance Notes
No. 1. Every socialist government ends in financial disaster.
No. 2. Every socialist policy damages the people it claims to protect.
No. 3. Socialists tell us what they are doing by accusing us of doing it.
No. 4. Socialists are socialists first, before anything else.
No. 5. To learn the motive of any policymaker, FOLLOW THE MONEY.
Once these principles are grasped, a true understanding of what socialists have planned for you, your loved ones and your money can be fully appreciated.
